Reflecting on the Attacks on My Second Home

In January and November of 2015 serious violence erupted in France. In January was the bombing of the Charlie Hebdo headquarters. November was the series of ISIS attacks at the Stade de France, Bataclan concert hall, and other sites. Like many people on social media, I felt compelled to post memes and change my profile pictures in solidarity and support with the French people.

Not long after, I saw some thoughtful critiques of the actions like I took. Basically, why were people inspired to publicize their solidarity with attacks on France, when there are so many other places in their world where atrocities occur every day and the average person never acknowledges them, let alone take the time to change their profile. I thought that was a good point.

The sentiment is certainly true, I AM against terrorism (and violence, inequality, sexism, racism, hypocrisy, homophobia, sweet and savory food mixed together, chocolate-covered fruit, mosquitos and a multitude of other things), but there was something different about Paris.

After some soul-searching here's what I've come up with and I think it might hold true for other people. Paris is the only major city in the entire world that I feel truly comfortable in. I confidently navigate the public transit there. I have explored almost every neighborhood at some point, even "les quartiers chauds." I've spent time there with my loved ones and experienced some of the most important events in my life there.

I have cumulatively spent close to 2 years of my life in France. I've spent 25 years of life studying the language and culture of the place. Not only have I traveled, but I have LIVED there-I had my own apartment, phone, utility bill, and checking account there.

All of that means I am attached to that place like no other. It was not a place that was "given" to me by someone else, like the city I grew up in, which my parents chose. It was not a place that I compromised on like my current home which is partway between my job and my husband's. Paris and France feel like "mine." It's the #1 tourist destination in the world by most estimates (followed closely by London, but I'm pretty sure Paris is still winning). Which means millions of people have visited and have developed attachments to it.

How many people have visited Tunisia? Mali? Syria? Iraq? These aren't considered "safe" destinations for many reasons beyond the geo-political ones that are the focus of the 24 hour news cycle. There IS eurocentrism afoot in the outpouring of love for France (and to a lesser degree, Belgium). By extension you could make a case there is racism afoot. But there is also a practical side. France is accessible in ways that west or north Africa are not (linguistically, culturally, logistically, etc). People NEED to visit more places. We NEED to diversify our travel destinations. It's the best way to humanize the cultures we don't understand. But until that is possible, people's attachments will remain with the places they have been themselves; the places they've seen in films and sitcoms; the places evoked in art, literature and history. As Hemingway wrote,

Once you've been there it becomes a part of you. Not at the expense of another place or another group of people, but just a profound experience in its own right.